Keeping Busy

One way I stay grounded is by keeping busy. I take classes at OLLI, including water aerobics, yoga, cribbage, canasta, and cooking. I also take piano lessons and meet with my writer friends once a week to write. Now that I have my new apartment with space for crafting, I’ve started working on art projects again. I also enjoy going out with friends to the symphony, plays, shopping, and other local events.  

 

You’d think with all this activity, I wouldn’t have time to feel sad—but I do.  

 

I love my classes. I cherish time with my friends. I thrive on the busy-ness, but it doesn’t quiet the longing in my heart—for someone to love, to share life with, to be a couple again.  

 

Yesterday, I started reading “One Woman’s Men: Fathers, Brother, Friends, and Lovers” by Sharon Goodwin. The description on Amazon captures it perfectly:  

 

"Each verse tells a story of love, loss, and longing—celebrating the nurturing bond with her father, the shared memories of her brother, and the fleeting yet profound connections with friends and lovers. With unflinching honesty and raw emotion, Sharon captures what it means to be a daughter, sister, friend, and lover, embracing both the beauty and the heartache of these relationships with striking clarity and innocence."  

As I read these poems, I’m struck by how much we, as “widows in waiting,” have in common with those who live with a chronic disease. For those of you following my blog and navigating the emotional complexities of being alone but not alone, I highly recommend this book. It won’t fix anything, but it reminded me that I’m not truly alone—I have sisters out there who understand.