Morning Inspiration

 This inspiration came at just the right time. Today, I've been told by my Anchor Hospice social worker that I should preplan Bill's funeral (and mine!). UGH! Getting old is the pits! Of course, as my father-in-law used to say, "Consider the alternative!"

So, I went on the Malloy Funeral Home website hoping I could it all online. Nope, might have to go in. Not my favorite thing to do! I am not good with funerals or funeral homes. A new thing to stretch Cindy Downes. . .

I called the funeral home and got someone who didn't know what to do. So, I get to postpone it to tomorrow!

UPDATE: I met with Tiffany on Wednesday and made the funeral arrangements for both Bill and me. It wasn’t nearly as difficult as I expected. Tiffany immediately put me at ease and gave me all the information I needed—and then some. I actually walked out of the mortuary in a surprisingly good mood.

Bill will be interred at the Houston Veterans Memorial in Houston, Texas, with a full veteran’s ceremony, including taps and a flag presentation. It’s exactly what he would have wanted.

Since Shelly is the “keeper of the ashes” in our family, I gave her a choice about what to do with mine. I could go with Bill to the Veterans Memorial, or I could be turned into “memorial stones.” She loved that idea, and so do I. She’ll be able to place them in her garden. I only wish I could have had stones from my mom—they’re truly beautiful.

One more task checked off the list.

Writing Practice - Poetry

One of my goals in life is to improve my writing. As a journalist, I tend to write concise and to the point. I'm trying to add some "life" to my writing. 

With that goal in mind, I recently purchased a journal called, "Write the Poem." Each day, it provides a theme and eight, word associations. Today's theme was, The Ocean. The word associations were: billows, deep, brine, offing, wave, flux, tide, and current. So here goes my attempt at poetry:

The Ocean - image created by Ai

The Ocean

The ocean is deep, 

With waves that billow

And rage across the miles.

Brine floats in the air

Filling my nostrils with the perfume of the sea.

Wave after wave crashes against my raft

As I float…

Drift…

Bob…

Weave to and fro.

The tide moving me onward

To an unknown destination

Like the currents of life.

I try to control them

But I can't.

One More Circle - Peter Mayer

A friend of mine sent me this video on my 75th Birthday. It says it all: 

https://youtu.be/qKfVtuiANt8?si=CDUXB0Q7qcjFK7BY

Here are the words: Lyrics and Chords

[Capo 2]

Intro: / C Csus4 C Csus4Csus2 / /

We have been weighed down by sadness like a stone

And we have yearned, we have yearned

And we have sometimes felt so utterly alone

While we turn, while we turn

/ C Csus4 C Csus4Csus2 / F - G - / :

And we’ve been stricken by the wonder of it all

Stricken dumb, stricken dumb

And we have sometimes felt so faint we want to fall

Overcome, but all in all

/ F Fsus4 F Fsus4Fsus2 / C - G - / :

{Refrain}

I’d say this year in flight together has been fun

What say we make one more circle around the sun

/ Am G F Dm / F G Intro /

We have raised our fists in anger and we’ve tried

To work it out, work it out

That we need each other, we cannot deny

There is no doubt, there is no doubt

So let us weave another dream in outer space

While we’re turning, while we’re turning

On this planet home that holds our human race

We still are learning, but all in all

{Refrain}

/ Am G F Dm / F G C - /

I’d say this year in flight together has been a good, good one

What say we make one more circle, one more circle

One more circle around the sun, around the sun

/ Am G F Dm - / F G F G / F G Intro /

Mental Health Matters

 I was so glad to see this article in Nice News about Simone Biles. Mental health does matter. And finally, people are beginning to see that it is not something to be shunned or locked up for, but instead, to be taken seriously. Thank you, Simone Biles, for standing up for yourself and all the rest of us who admit we need help. You're my hero! 

Keeping Busy

One way I stay grounded is by keeping busy. I take classes at OLLI, including water aerobics, yoga, cribbage, canasta, and cooking. I also take piano lessons and meet with my writer friends once a week to write. Now that I have my new apartment with space for crafting, I’ve started working on art projects again. I also enjoy going out with friends to the symphony, plays, shopping, and other local events.  

 

You’d think with all this activity, I wouldn’t have time to feel sad—but I do.  

 

I love my classes. I cherish time with my friends. I thrive on the busy-ness, but it doesn’t quiet the longing in my heart—for someone to love, to share life with, to be a couple again.  

 

Yesterday, I started reading “One Woman’s Men: Fathers, Brother, Friends, and Lovers” by Sharon Goodwin. The description on Amazon captures it perfectly:  

 

"Each verse tells a story of love, loss, and longing—celebrating the nurturing bond with her father, the shared memories of her brother, and the fleeting yet profound connections with friends and lovers. With unflinching honesty and raw emotion, Sharon captures what it means to be a daughter, sister, friend, and lover, embracing both the beauty and the heartache of these relationships with striking clarity and innocence."  

As I read these poems, I’m struck by how much we, as “widows in waiting,” have in common with those who live with a chronic disease. For those of you following my blog and navigating the emotional complexities of being alone but not alone, I highly recommend this book. It won’t fix anything, but it reminded me that I’m not truly alone—I have sisters out there who understand.  

I am VERY SLOWLY getting back into writing. I'm working on memoir, a mystery, and some short stories. In the process, I signed up with Sisters in Crime to stay motivated, learn more about fiction writing, and find resources. I'm so glad I did. I was able to get into a mentoring program for six months where my mentor, Dianna Sinovic, is giving me inspiration and motivation. I'm so grateful to her and SinC. Although I don't have many words completed (18,000), she is working with me to develop characters, motives, and clues. And, I'm much more motivated to keep working at this project. Thank you, Dianna!

Life Changes Things

Life changes. Every year that I get older, it seems as if I have a new adjustment to make. Now that I'm working and being Bill's chauffeur, it seems I am having to adjust my writing schedule to accommodate it. For the past two years, I've enjoyed writing for Oklahoma Living Magazine, but, unfortunately, this type of writing requires me to travel and interview people. I don't have the time to do that now that I'm tutoring, except for in the summer. Because of that, I was forced to give up some of the assignments that I had for the upcoming year - a big disappointment.

However, as I sat thinking about it and feeling sorry for myself, I said, "Self, what other kind of writing could you do at home in the middle of the night and in between your other responsibilities?" I realized that I could write on spec about topics that I can research at home - no travel or interviewing. I could also work on my mystery and/or children's books that have been sitting in my files. So, that's what I've decided to do.

First, I sent off some queries for magazine articles I could write at home in the middle of the night. I got four assignments!

Next, I pitched an idea to the kids in my writing class about an extra assignment - writing the novel. If any of them take me up on it, we'll form an online critique group and work on our stories together. We're going to use the book, "Seize the Story: A Handbook for Teens Who Like to Write" by Victoria Hanley. We'll work through this chapter by chapter throughout the school year. We'll critique each other and I'll help them learn about the publishing business (as much as I know) and maybe even take them to some writer's workshops.

So, the bottom line is this:

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” -Maria Robinson

Time for Nonfiction

I've had to put my fiction writing aside for awhile. I'm currently working on an article for Oklahoma Living Magazine, as well as updating my homeschool website and Oklahoma History curriculum. Between that, decorating my porch and visits to John Hopkins' Wilmar Eye Institute (for my husband's vision problems), I just haven't much time for writing fiction.

The idea came for redecorating my porch came from some purple, pink and white violets I bought at the grocery store. First, I bought purple napkins, pillows, and a candle for my bookshelf. I added another purple and green flower arrangement to the bookshelf, as well as white porcelain cats on two tables.

I already had green and white railroad plates from my mother, so I used those on top of  green place mats for the table. In the center, I placed purple grapes in a cut glass bowl.

Next, I found a green lounge chair that goes perfect with the greens in the accessories. Of course, my cat had to help Bill put it together!

Then I moved everything around for a more comfortable setting. That included getting rid of a desk I had in there. No more office look!

What do you think? Isn't this the perfect spot for writing! I'm totally inspired, so back to work!