Homeschooling - Part 1

Homeschooling – A Memoir (written on June 5, 2025)

Why I Wrote This Now:

It took me a many years to write about my homeschool journey; because, for much of my adult life, I believed I had failed my children by choosing to homeschool them. Friends and family thought I was insane for homeschooling. I didn't have a teaching degree; in fact, I didn't have a college degree at all. How could I possibly think that I could educate my own children? Surely, I would ruin their chance for success, and they'd become social misfits. I might even get arrested in the process and have them taken away. 

As the years passed, every challenge Wil and Shelly went through seemed to be proof that I'd made a terrible mistake. Whether their struggles were with relationships, money, or careers, I was sure it was my fault. 

But, as I grew older, I started to notice something. Every parent I knew, whether their kids went to public school, private school, or were homeschooled, watched their children struggle at times. That's just life. 

And recently, I've begun to think about all the good that came from homeschooling. I remember the fun times we had exploring the US in a 33-foot motor home, meeting people from all walks of life, and the unique learning opportunities we had. 

I think about how we, as a family, have learned resilience from life's struggles. How we've supported one another through the good times and bad. And how, as older adults, we've reconnected by giving each other the freedom to simply be. 

So yes, I'm now ready to tell my story. It's time to look back at what it meant to be a homeschool mom, before it was trendy, before it was even legal in most states. It's time to write down the good, the bad, the messy, and the beautiful. Here goes . . .  

 

The Decision (Middletown, DE, 1980-85; Wil 4-9; Shelly 3-8)

“Are you crazy?” my friend Diane asked when I told her I was pulling my son, Wil, out of school in order to homeschool him. “That's illegal!”

She was right. It was 1981, and homeschooling was illegal in Delaware. But I was preparing to do it anyway—because, to me, I had no choice. I wasn't going to let history repeat itself.

Back in the 1950s, my older brother Randy had struggled in school from first grade until the day he graduated, twelve years later. He was passed from one grade to the next without support, relentlessly teased by classmates, and constantly belittled from our father. His self-esteem never recovered. Unable to pursue further education, he drifted from one low-paying job to another, and by thirty, he had followed our father into alcoholism. He died at forty-three. 

I wasn’t going to let that happen to Wil. 

Wil had just finished five-year-old preschool. He cried every day, failed to grasp the basics of reading, writing, and arithmetic, and was already being bullied. None of the professionals I spoke with could give me answers, let alone support. It wouldn't be until adulthood that Wil would be diagnosed with dyslexia and ADHD. But in the early 80s, no one had a clue.

When Wil’s teacher informed me that she was going to fail him and have him repeat kindergarten, I said, “No.” Failure wasn’t an option. 

I began exploring alternative schools, but none felt right. Around the same time, I happened to catch a segment on television about homeschooling. When I mentioned it to my in-laws, they were surprisingly encouraging. They told me about military families they knew who had homeschooled successfully. I admired my in-laws as they were both successful college graduates (Univ of Hawaii and US Naval Academy), so that was all the nudge I needed.

By summer’s end, I had made up my mind: I would homeschool.

Getting Started (1981)

In 1981, finding curriculum was a real challenge. Unless you were a professional educator, curriculum was impossible to get. After some digging, I discovered Seventh-day Adventist curriculum. The Dick and Jane-style readers featured a family who went to church on Saturday and ate plant-based burgers, long before they were popular. I wasn’t Adventist, but I knew I could make it work. 

I ordered the entire first-grade curriculum for Wil—minus the answer keys, which weren't sold to the public. I was confident I could figure out the answers. I mean, how hard can first grade be? 

Since I was keeping Wil at home, I decided to homeschool Shelly too. She was kindergarten age, already reading above grade level, so I ordered her the K5 curriculum. I was sure she could tackle this curriculum with no problems at all.

Next, I transformed the dining room of our two-story brick home into a classroom. I hung a blackboard on one wall and a bulletin board on the other. I decorated the bulletin board with multi-colored alphabets and numbers for easy reference. I stocked a bookshelf with our new curriculum and a variety of fiction and nonfiction books, from early readers to adult classics. 

At a local resale shop, I found two small wooden desks for the kids and a storage cabinet that I filled with writing paper, pencils, and art supplies. Determined to provide a well-rounded education, I also purchased some musical instruments and basic science lab equipment. 

On my desk, I placed a globe, an American flag, and our brand-new Apple IIe computer with its bright green screen and blinking cursor, just waiting for input.

With the help of this new computer, I created a daily and weekly schedule that included the flag salute, prayer, the core subjects of reading, writing, arithmetic, science, and history, as well as lunch, gym, art, music, and recess. 

My goal for the year was to get Wil on grade level in his core subjects. After that, I planned to put them both back into school. 

It was time to begin!

Next time: The challenges begin and how I navigated the tricky legal terrain of homeschooling in the early 80s.